So don't be surprised or quit when you hit a bump. Just note which stage of change you're in and keep moving. See Connecting for support and help from others as they work on changing, too. Also check out Ask a Professional for more tips on moving through that "I know what to do; I just can't seem to do it" stage.

Stages of Change and Key Words to Identifying Blocks

1. Shock or surprise. "What?" "Are you kidding?" "It can't be."
2. Resistance or fear. "No way!" "I can't." 'No, I don't."
3. Guilt. "I can't believe I didn't..." "I so wish I would've..." "Why didn't I...?"
4. Excuses. "If only__ then I could ..." "You should have, then I..."
5. Questions. "I wonder?" "How do others do?" "What about?"
6. Decision. "I"d like to..." "I'm going to..." "I will..."

Here, most of us back up to #2 and work back to #6 again – at least once, and usually more than that before we're ready to move on.

7. Experimentation. "I tried..." "I experimented with..."
8. Self-Criticism and judging. "How stupid!" "How clumsy!" "I'll never get this accomplished!"

Again here, we'll usually go to #2 and work our way back down - much faster this time.

9. Trying again. "I can see where..." "Hmm, I think this might..." I'll try again."
10. New adopted behavior.